| 美國防性侵教育短片讓孩子遠離傷害
針對近期個別幼兒園被指存在“虐童”的情況,教育部23日晚回應表示,已責成地方有關部門立即啟動調查,盡快查清事實真相。教育部已部署開展幼兒園辦園行為專項督查。
兒童受到身體和心靈上雙重傷害的事情的發生,不得不讓家長警醒和反思。
今天一起來看看美國How To Tell Your Child機構制作的兒童防性侵視頻,建議給4歲以上孩子觀看,花7分鐘讓孩子遠離傷害!
1 教孩子識別壞人
在短片的開始,老師就推翻了孩子們關于壞人的“想象”。她問孩子們:
How do you think you could figure if someone's bad?
你們認為,自己可以怎樣識別出壞人?
對于壞人,每一個孩子都有自己的看法。
Oh, bad people had big teeth.
噢,壞人有大牙齒。
Oh, they had big red eyes.
噢,他們有大而血紅的眼睛。
They have large hands and an evil smile.
他們有巨大的手和邪惡的笑容。
但老師否認了他們的這些天真的想法,并說,Bad people might not look bad.(壞人也許看上去并不壞),有時候看起來和其他人是一樣的。
They can be nice looking, nice smiling and cool, too. They might even have a stash of yummy candies in their pockets.
他們也有可能是長得好看,有和藹的微笑和炫酷的人,他們甚至在口袋里藏著美味的糖果。
要怎樣教給我們的孩子去辨別壞人呢?老師先是告訴孩子們,對于男孩女孩來說,哪里是隱私部位。
然后向孩子們解釋說,隱私部位之所以叫做隱私部位,是因為它們不能在大眾場合展示。 They are called private parts because they shouldn't be shown in public.
接下來要講的五種報警,是整部短片的重中之重。這五個警報,不僅非常全面的概括到了各種危險的場景,也讓孩子輕輕松松的就能夠理解。
1 See Alert
視覺警報:
If someone sees your private parts, or makes you see someone else's private parts, it's called "See Alert".
如果有人看你的隱私部位,或者讓你看其他人的隱私部位,這就叫做“視覺警報。”
2 Talk Alert
言語警報:
If someone talks about private parts, it's called "Talk Alert".
如果有人談論隱私部位,這就叫做“言語警報。”
3 Touch Alert
觸碰警報
If someone touches your private parts, or asks you to touch their private parts, it's called "Touch Alert".
如果有人觸碰你的隱私部位,或者叫你觸碰他們的隱私部位,這就叫做“觸碰警報。”
4 Alone Alert
獨處警報
Bad people can harm you only if you are alone with them. Remember never to accept goodies from strangers, especially when your parents aren't around.
壞人只有在你獨自一人的時候才能傷害你。記住,千萬不要接受陌生人給的好吃的。特別是父母不在身邊時。
Being alone with a stranger is "Alone Alert".
倘若與陌生人單獨待在一起,這就是“獨處警報。”
5 Hold Alert
約束警報
You should not allow anyone to hug, carry or kiss you. If someone hugs, carries or kisses you, it's "Hold Alert".
你們不能允許任何人擁抱,背或者親吻你們。如果有人擁抱,背或者親吻你,這就是“約束警報。”
當然,在這五種警報以外,也有三種特殊情況:
沒有人可以看隱私部位,談論或是觸碰隱私部位,但是“爸爸媽媽可以。”那也只能是在他們需要幫你清洗隱私部位或者你的隱私部位受傷的時候。
其他人只有在父母允許的情況下才可以,比如保姆幫助洗澡,或者在媽媽的陪伴下去看醫生。
當孩子問及跟自己的姑媽擁抱,屬不屬于約束警報的時候,老師的建議真的是妙極了。
You should make your circle of love with your parents. Your circle of love will have people who could hold and love you.
你們可以與家長一起制作一個“愛心圈”,只有在這個圈子里的人,才是可以擁抱和疼愛孩子的人。
在短片的后半部分,老師給孩子們提出了10個問題,來考驗孩子們聽課以后,是不是真的把這些可能會遭遇到的危險“聽進心里去了”。
眼下已經不是那個“我們家孩子還小,不需要性教育”和“羞于跟孩子談性”的社會了,我們是性教育缺失的一代,但我們的孩子需要“性教育”這重要的一課。一起來看看美國兒童心理研究所總結的讓孩子遠離侵害的十個辦法。
1. Talk about body parts early.
1. 盡早談論身體部位。
Name body parts and talk about them very early. Use proper names for body parts, or at least teach your child what the actual words are for their body parts. Feeling comfortable using these words and knowing what they mean can help a child talk clearly if something inappropriate has happened.
教孩子說身體部位的名字,盡早和孩子談論身體部位。使用恰當的詞匯描述身體部位,或者至少告訴孩子身體部位的實際詞匯是什么。讓孩子使用這些詞匯時感覺不別扭,并知道其含義,這樣在發生不恰當的行為時,孩子才能清楚地說出來。
2. Teach them that some body parts are private.
2. 告訴他們哪些是隱私部位。
Tell your child that their private parts are called private because they are not for everyone to see. Explain that mommy and daddy can see them naked, but people outside of the home should only see them with their clothes on. Explain how their doctor can see them without their clothes because mommy and daddy are there with them and the doctor is checking their body.
告訴孩子,隱私部位之所以稱為隱私,是因為不能讓其他人看見。向他們解釋只有爸媽能看到,外人只能看到他們穿著衣服的樣子。告訴孩子醫生可以看到他們脫衣服的樣子,因為爸媽也在場,醫生是在檢查身體。
3. Teach your child body boundaries.
3. 教會孩子區分身體邊界。
Tell your child matter-of-factly that no one should touch their private parts and that no one should ask them to touch somebody else’s private parts. Parents will often forget the second part of this sentence. Sexual abuse often begins with the perpetrator asking the child to touch them or someone else.
實事求是地告訴孩子,沒人可以觸摸他們的隱私部位,也沒人應該要求他們觸摸其他人的隱私部位。家長經常忘記第二點。性侵犯經常以犯罪者要求孩子觸摸自己或他人隱私部位的形式發生。
4. Tell your child that body secrets are not okay.
4. 告訴孩子不要隱瞞身體的秘密。
Most perpetrators will tell the child to keep the abuse a secret. This can be done in a friendly way, such as, “I love playing with you, but if you tell anyone else what we played they won’t let me come over again.” Or it can be a threat: “This is our secret. If you tell anyone I will tell them it was your idea and you will get in big trouble!” Tell your kids that no matter what anyone tells them, body secrets are not okay and they should always tell you if someone tries to make them keep a body secret.
大部分犯罪者會告訴孩子,保守性侵的秘密。他們可能以一種友好的方式說,“我喜歡和你玩兒,但如果你告訴其他人我們在玩兒什么,他們就不會再讓我過來了。”也可能以威脅的口吻說:“這是我們之間的秘密。如果你讓其他人知道,我會告訴他們這是你的主意,你就惹大麻煩了。”告訴孩子,不管其他人怎么和他們說的,都不要隱瞞身體的秘密,如果有人想讓他們隱瞞身體的秘密,一定要告訴家長。
5. Tell your child that no one should take pictures of their private parts.
5. 告訴孩子不要讓人拍攝隱私部位的照片。
This one is often missed by parents. There is a whole sick world out there of pedophiles who love to take and trade pictures of naked children online. This is an epidemic and it puts your child at risk. Tell your kids that no one should ever take pictures of their private parts.
家長經常忽略這一點。有些戀童癖者喜歡拍攝孩子的裸照,還會拿到網上去賣。這其實很普遍,讓你的孩子身處危險之中。告訴孩子不要讓其他人拍攝自己的隱私部位。
6. Teach your child how to get out of scary or uncomfortable situations.
6. 教會孩子如何遠離讓人恐懼或不舒服的環境。
Some children are uncomfortable with telling people “no”— especially older peers or adults. Tell them that it’s okay to tell an adult they have to leave, if something that feels wrong is happening, and help give them words to get out of uncomfortable situations. Tell your child that if someone wants to see or touch private parts they can tell them that they need to leave to go potty.
一些孩子不會拒絕,特別是對年長一些的孩子或者成年人。要讓他們知道,如果感到不對勁,告訴一個成年人自己必須離開很正常,還要教會他們應該怎么說才能擺脫不舒服的環境。告訴孩子,如果有人要看或者觸摸隱私部位,就和他們說需要去上個廁所。
7. Have a code word your children can use when they feel unsafe or want to be picked up.
7. 設定一個孩子感到不安全或想要被接走時所說的密碼詞匯。
As children get a little bit older, you can give them a code word that they can use when they are feeling unsafe. This can be used at home, when there are guests in the house or when they are on a play date or a sleepover.
隨著孩子年齡的增長,可以給他們設定一個感到不安全時使用的密碼詞匯。家里有客人、出游、或者在朋友家留宿時都可以使用。
8. Tell your children they will never be in trouble if they tell you a body secret.
8. 告訴孩子,如果他們和你分享了一個身體秘密,絕不會遇到麻煩。
Tell your child that no matter what happens, when they tell you anything about body safety or body secrets they will NEVER get in trouble.
告訴孩子無論發生什么,他們告訴你有關身體安全或者身體秘密的任何事情都絕不會遇到麻煩。
9. Tell your child that a body touch might tickle or feel good.
9. 告訴孩子,不良的身體接觸也可能感覺不錯。
Many parents and books talk about “good touch and bad touch,” but this can be confusing because often these touches do not hurt or feel bad. I prefer the term “secret touch,” as it is a more accurate depiction of what might happen.
很多家長和書籍談論“好的接觸和壞的接觸”,但這可能會讓人困惑,因為這種接觸經常不會造成傷害,也不會讓人感到不舒服。我更傾向于使用“秘密接觸”這種說法,這能更準確地描述發生了什么。
10. Tell your child that these rules apply even with people they know and even with another child.
10. 告訴孩子,即便對自己認識的人,甚至是其他孩子,這些規則也同樣適用。
This is an important point to discuss with your child. When you ask a young child what a “bad guy” looks like they will most likely describe a cartoonish villain. You can say something like, “Mommy and daddy might touch your private parts when we are cleaning you or if you need cream — but no one else should touch you there. Not friends, not aunts or uncles, not teachers or coaches. Even if you like them or think they are in charge, they should still not touch your private parts.”
和孩子談論這一點很重要。當你問幼兒壞人長啥樣,他們很可能會描述一個卡通片里的大壞蛋。你可以這樣和孩子說:“當你洗澡或者需要擦油時,爸爸媽媽可能會觸摸你的隱私部位,但其他人不能這么做。朋友、阿姨、叔叔、老師、或者教練都不可以。即便你喜歡他們,或者認為他們管著你,他們也不能觸摸你的隱私部位。”